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The Illustrious Advice Guru's Journal
20 most recent entries

Date:2006-10-21 23:30

Dear Manda,

I hate my boyfriends best friend for so many reasons. It ranges from being a blatant chauvinist to telling me he thinks my friends are ugly and "don't do anything (career wise) for him". I have always tried hard to be The Good Girlfriend and be supportive of his friend relationships - regardless of whether or not I like the person.

Recently, I've come to the conclusion that this friend does anything within his ability to alienate and sabotage my relationship. I'm tired of "rising above it" and turning a blind eye but have no idea what I should do about the situation. I don't want to turn into a "It's him or me" girl but I really don't want to put up with this assholes bullshit anymore.

Everytime I discuss this with my guy, he feels like I'm trying to pick his friends.

It feels like the impossible situation

PS. I picked this community soley because of the name Manda.
PPSS. You seriously need to pick another mod to promote this place and erase all those fucking "Can you make me an Icon?" and "How do I get an LJ?!" crap posts.

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Date:2006-10-11 20:30

My grandmother was born in Mexico. She was a Mexican citizen and she lived in Mexico for awhile. Later she lived in Bolivia and ended up in South West America later. She spoke Spanish fluently and would partake in Spanish cultures, etc. Keeping all this in mind, her parents were European meaning she was Caucasian but a Mexican American.

My question is, when filling out a college application, would it be justifiable to put on a college application that the "racial and ethnic groups I include myself in" are both Caucasian AND Mexican American?

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Date:2005-10-11 18:44


Hi. I'm new to this community & I really need some advice. First off, I'm 17 & I dont have many friends. 3 years ago I messed around online & made up a life. I became very close to this one girl & still am. Well, she's been wanting to meet me for the longest & somehow I've managed to get out of it. The guilt, of course, has eaten at me until I'm at the point I am. I'm ready to kill myself. I'm not sure what I should do. I feel I have no one to talk to about this. I don't want anyone to find out because I regret it terribly. We are still close but I'm tired of all this. I just want to live my normal life. As much as I want to be close to her just as me I kno it isn't possible. I feel trapped & I'm about to end my life over this. Can anyone give me any advice? I would prefer if it's 100% negative then to just not reply. Can you help?

Thank you for your time.

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Date:2003-12-22 03:33

hey could sumone make an icon for me please?
wording: in CHERI font, pick the size you think is right, in right hand corner, "**seduce us**", of course without the ", with the **, if it can be flashing that would be great

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Date:2003-12-22 00:35

hi i kno im asking a lot...but if sumone could make me this icon it would be awesome..its a lot..
its a normal sized icon that would have these images flashing *but not too fast please, not too slow either you judge*

thanx so much! i kno its a lot but thanx!

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Date:2003-12-19 14:49

hi can sumone please make me a christmas icon
that has these two images flashing not too fast just back in forth
first image:

second image:

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Date:2003-12-15 16:54

body {

is ^this rite for adding a background to my livejournal cuz its not working!? can sumone help me

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Date:2003-12-10 21:16
Subject:heLp again

can someone heLp me ... if i change to the newer styLe of the journaL *S2* can i stiLL change "post a comment" to whatever i want it to say ? hope this isnt to much of a confusing question...
old style journaL there was a pLace for me to type and change aLL that stuff *it was a box that said this is not a journaL*
where do i do that with the newer style journaL

i wouLd type aLL of this below:

(%%readlink%% ¨*¨rEvEaL YoUr§eLf¨*¨)


FRIENDS_TALK_READLINK=>%%messagecount%%¨*¨bArEd §OuL¨*¨%%mc-plural-s%% |

LASTN_TALK_READLINK=>%%messagecount%% ¨*¨bArEd §OuL¨*¨%%mc-plural-s%% |


(%%readlink%%¨*¨bArEd §OuL¨*¨ )



.·:*¨¨*:·.*W e L C o M E 2 K R i § T i N A ' § J o U R n A L.·:*¨¨*:·.*



(%%readlink%%¨*¨rEvEaL YoUr§eLf¨*¨ )


DAY_TALK_READLINK=>%%messagecount%%¨*¨bArEd §OuL¨*¨%%mc-plural-s%% |

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Date:2003-12-10 19:08
Mood: curious

how do i downLoad a LivejournaL? sorry im computer stupid

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Date:2003-12-10 18:22
Mood: curious

hey kristina here uhh i was wondering how do u get a friends onLy journaL does it come with a paid account or can i get it being a free user...i wouLd Like one ...if someone couLd respond back to me that wouLd be awesome ok Later

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Date:2003-06-29 09:51
Mood: awake

hey! i have a short question involving journals.. how do you post an entry and have a link to something else, like if i was explaining a story and i ddint wanna write it all in my journal i wanted to write some so u could click somewhere and see the rest.. if your confused its just like the person did on the entry below mine.. you can click to read more.. if someone could help i would deffintaley apreciate it! thanks!

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Date:2002-10-14 17:37

I put this in my private journal..... when I reference Thursday night just know that it was the worst night of my life.......

I hate to rehash what was a terrible weekend for me..... with the exception of one moment where I felt good (Dolphins game)...... but something is bothering me hardcore and I'm bouncing between thoughts of whether it's salvageable or not.....

Thursday night as all of you know, was a night I never want to have again..... It was so bad I laid in bed most of the following day contemplating my life and the lingering effects of a stupid mistake I made..... When the night rolled around I decided to join my friend Jeff and this girl Erin for some dinner at Sakura..... To try and shake myself out of my funk I decided to give this girl Vanessa a call whom I met the weekend prior....
More..... It's long but please help me out here...Collapse )

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Date:2002-09-08 01:07

My boyfriend and I have been dating for three months. I am totally crazy deeply in love with him. I want to tell him. But the thing is, he broke up with me two weeks into our relationship because he had panicked. Which, I don't blame him... But anyways... I want to tell him. And I know I should. But I don't want to at the same time because I don't want to totally throw him into a frenzy. But I don't know if he'd do that or not... I really really love him. I've been in other relationships, I've been in love and I know how it feels and this is very much like that. It's better... Anyways... I should tell him, right? It's been three months, I should tell him... Right? Or should I wait? What? I should tell him. Someone tell me. I should tell him, right?

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Date:2002-09-07 11:38
Subject:I need Help. Now. Right now. I dunno what to do.
Mood: gloomy

Here are journal entries which chronicle my up and down relationship (and I mean that in the true sense of the word; how we relate to one another!)




So, I finally got over Zach. When I met Keith, I got over Zach. And then I had this conversation with Zach last week, and it made me CRY. I was so fucking hurt. Bawling like a baby. Zach had never, ever said anything like that to me before. Ever. Here it is.

Manda(10:35:51 PM): Thank you! Did you want to come up this weekend, or no?
Manda(10:36:12 PM): You can stay til Monday if you wanted, as I don't have class.
Zach (10:40:06 PM): LOL I wouldn't dream of interfering.
Zach(10:40:21 PM): It sounds like you will be seeing a lot of each other this weekend.
Manda(10:36:36 PM): Zachary Hollis Nathan.
Manda (10:36:43 PM): STOP BEING JEALOUS! =p
Manda(10:36:54 PM): We saw each other two days in a row
Zach(10:40:42 PM): *shrugs*
Manda (10:37:35 PM): I want to spend time with YOU which is why I invited you. And anyways, he's going camping with some friends. Which is good because I wanted you to come up anyways. So...shhh!!!! <# *hugs*
Manda(10:37:38 PM): <3
Zach(10:42:01 PM): *hugs*
Zach(10:42:27 PM): I don't know though, all I would hear about is your three boyfriends.
Manda(10:38:46 PM): >_<
Manda(10:39:04 PM): I see.
Manda(10:39:35 PM): Well, if you don't want to come, Zach, then don't.
Manda(10:40:12 PM): Just forget I asked
Zach(10:44:24 PM): I'm sorry, Manda. I thought you would be busy.
Manda(10:40:47 PM): No
Manda(10:41:00 PM): I cleared my weekend in the off chance you would decide to come
Manda(10:41:17 PM): there is the county fair going on this weekend and everything
Zach(10:45:16 PM): when is it?
Manda(10:41:29 PM): But whatever
Manda(10:41:35 PM): all weekend
Manda(10:41:47 PM): it started a week ago tonight and ends Sunday
Zach(10:46:32 PM): I see.
Manda(10:43:12 PM): I thought that if you decided to come up it would be fun
Manda(10:43:33 PM): But it doesn't matter if you don't want to come up
Zach(10:49:08 PM): Manda, may I call you?
Manda(10:45:27 PM): why?
Zach(10:51:07 PM): nevermind... I need some time to think.
Zach(10:51:10 PM): I'll either let you know later tonight or in the morning.
Manda(10:47:37 PM): well I will call you later
Manda(10:47:54 PM): I have to call Holly

I didn't really have to call Holly...I promised Keith I'd call him back and I was afraid if I told him I was calling Keith (one of the aforementioned three boyfriends, I'm sure!) he'd lash out again. But I called, and he apologized profusely. So, he came up last weekend and we had A GREAT TIME. But I noticed he'd been acting a bit odd...more affectionate, insisting on spending money on me... things like that. I brushed it aside as overly apologetic for the outburst of last week. Then, Tuesday night, he says that he has been having intense feelings for me. But they're aren't romantic and he's not in love with me, he has just been being weird. Okay....? So, I say let's not talk for a few days and see how you feel. So, later- today- the whole situation sinks in and I miss him like crazy. As a friend. I have a new boyfriend, and Jason treats me SO well...he's kind, nice, sweet, respectful...I am not going to fuck it up. Jason deserves to be treated well so that is what I am going to do. SO anyways...I call Zach and it basically comes out that, no, sorry, he IS in love with me and he DOES have romantic feelings. And he says all this stuff and something came out about how he can't picture me the same way after knowing I had sex with Jason. There's been a loss of innocence. That was when I started to cry. And I feel totally awful. I have really fucked this boy over, unknowingly and unintentionally. Not my fault, this I know...plus, it's so ironic that only NOW should he start having feelings for me...fuck, this sucks. Not because I want to be with him and the timing sucks. But because so much pain is involved. I do not want Zach anymore. Except as a very good, dear, close friend. *sigh* So, we aren't going to talk for a few weeks. He needs space, and time. Maybe I do, too? All I know is, I haven't cried that hard since Chris Graves and I broke up.

and then night before last:

Manda (11:50:33 PM): i'm deleting you from my friends lists for now. It's kind of too hard to see you online and not talk to you...for now. Don't reply, and don't take offense. It's just easier for me.
Zach: (12:01:13 AM): i hurt
Manda(11:58:16 PM): well so do I. Especially when you said you don't think of me the same way after Tuesday as you did before.
Manda(11:58:27 PM): this is hard for BOTH of us.
Mnada (12:02:45 AM): Innocence has NOTHING to do with virginity. Nothing...I am still the same person you've always known. That was hands down the most hurtful and thoughtless thing I have ever heard you say. I don't think you know how much it hurt me to hear you say that.
Manda (12:03:00 AM): but I didn't want to get to talking. so I am signing off

and then, an email he sent. For reference...Heather is a work colleague. She's very bohemian and a lesbian, so...unfortunately, no chance of a love connection.

Manda, it is unfair, though understandable, to condemn
me for a piece of my attempt to explain my emotions
and thoughts after you have been insistent on finding
out what they are and said I should not be afraid to
tell you. I accept that mine are irrational and
hurtful. They are raw. I am certain that any
psychological conflicts I may have about your sexual
life will dissolve when I have escaped from this
unrelated hell I have trapped myself in. I have
stopped eating and sleeping, and just going to the
grocery store is difficult. This afternoon I shall
start taking an antidepressant, but they sometimes
take weeks to start working. Saturday I am going to
either a natural history museum or a street festival
with Heather, so that will give at least a little
social interaction. But at the end of the day, I
blame myself for this situation. I should have made
more and better attempts to get involved at the
university. So if condemning me for one aspect of my
emotional turmoil is helpful, I accept it. Despite
whatever feelings I have or am trying not to have,
know that I am truly glad things have been going so
well for you in all respects apart from my own
direction. Your happiness is extremely important to
me, and I am deeply sorry my problems have soured someof your happiness.
-Not Quite Human

i feel like dying inside. this is like the fucking twilight zone.

I replied, explaining how I just never feel good enough or smart enough or pure enough for him. And he sent an e-card apologizing and I sent HIM an ecard to reply, telling him I don't know how I feel or what I want except that I feel I love and miss him AS A FRIEND and that I want him to be in my life.

And I really don't know how I feel. Or what I want. I'm soo confused. I just started a monogamous, steady relationship with Jason- someone I really like and care for. I lost my virginity to this boy. And it's like...scary. I don't want a boyfriend to tear apart my friendship with Zach, if that is even what is happening. What do I do? Does anyone have a guess as to how I feel? Cuz I don't know!

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Date:2002-08-22 13:51
Subject:New Community
Mood: curious

I have a question...I just created a new community loveguru for people who have questions specifically involving relationships. I was wondering where I could post this so people would know about it?

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Date:2002-08-14 01:24
Subject:I like to rant.

Okay, I have a good example of how fucked up some guys can be... Prepare yourself...

So this guy, Bernie. He dated my friend Angela for about 4 months last year. They broke up. Not two days later after they had broken yup, he was screwing around with some other girl and freakin' hitting on me. Have we established that he's a creep yet? If not, let me try again...

He got back into a relationship that he had going on prior to the one that he was in with my friend. Some sources say that he never left that relationship completely and that the entire time that he was with my friend Angela, he was with this other girl too. Anyways... he was with her last summer and he STILL kept talking to me, begging me to hook up with him. I, at the time, was also in a relationship, and he knew about that too, and that did not stop him from flirting and trying to touch and get his hands down my pants... So we all finally played a big prank on him, and I was the mastermind behind it. He left me alone... For a while. He kept instant messaging me and shit... Just NOT leaving me alone until I stopped going online under the name that he knew. That was that.

Until tonight. I got an email from him, "Hey sexy whats up, blah blah blah, i still really think youre hot, lets hook up sometime." And he hadn't spoken to me since God-knows-when, so I thought it was okay to go back on using that old name. Its my AOL name, I can't really escape it. So many people know that name and I occasionally like to talk to them. I didn't think in a million years that he would keep my name on his list. He's talking to me right now... Let's hook up, he says. Let me borrow you from your boyfriend. Lets go out.

He. Is a creep. And always will be. And that's all... I just needed to rant. And more people read this than do my own livejournal. Blah. Thanks.

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Date:2002-08-12 20:03

thankyou everyone who commented.
i really appreciate it. though it was all stuff i had already considered in my "depressed" stage, i really enjoyed hearing the thoughts from other people. and maybe i just wanted to talk about it?
he called me again last night like at 1. and..if he wants to see what else is out there but(i had a comment about this) why was he so sure before when giving me my rings? i donno. im not askin, just saying. the confusion sux.

one thing..the fighting wasnt really bad though, i noticed a lot of comments about that. it was more that i didnt give my input or sometimes i wouldnt answer him and just stare at him like he should know the answer to that and it pissed him off.=/ hah, ok, i just wanted to clear that up..

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Date:2002-08-11 22:32
Subject:its about time!

Name: Marie
Age: 19
Location: Las Vegas
Favorite TV show(s): i dont really watch tv..but i enjoy cartoons! and friends.
Favorite band: Over My Dead Body
Favorite song: Be There
Be honest. Does Manda turn you on?: sure! =)

are we allowed to comment to try to help fellow community members out too? ya?

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Date:2002-08-12 00:17
Subject:question about stupid boys again!!!
Mood: confused

my ex boyfriend whom I'm still very close friends with...I think he still likes me but I'm not sure he's kinda hard to read sumtimes...how can I tell if he really likes me or just likes my attention??

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Date:2002-08-10 23:53

Name: Holly
Age: 17/18
Location: Lancaster
Favorite TV show(s): Friends
Favorite band: Too many to name here..
Favorite song: See above.
Be honest. Does Manda turn you on?: Only in the spiritual sense.

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my journal